• O (Miss) Canada

    This morning, a friend posted a link to this article on my Facebook page, the whole point of which is, clearly, this photo of Miss Canada decked out all to hell and back for the Miss Universe pageant.

    read more

    I was here and read this!

  • Why You Totally Need Facebook’s Newest Post Scheduling Feature

    Recently, I noticed another round of the sluggishness, inconsistency in performance, and general nonfunctional bullshittery that always accompany Facebook working behind the scenes in preparation of rolling out new “features”.  Facebook’s definition of a “feature” is “OMGHOLYWOW new thing you didn’t even know you wanted until we gave it to you you’re welcome enjoy!” whereas the rest of us tend to define Facebook “features” more in terms of “major drawback and hindrance to basic functionality and could you seriously please just fucking stop changing shit on pages because you’re not doing anything anybody really wants done and this is not how you’re going to encourage us to actually start paying for this service okaythanksbyenow”.

    But this new feature could very well be the best thing that has ever happened to anyone.  Because where last week you could only schedule things in advance to post to your page, now you can backdate things that you post on your page. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • The Bourbon & Butterscotch Zombie Slayer Bundt

    This is my fourth year observing National Bundt Cake Day by baking an original recipe cake, and as there has been in the three years prior, there is a near & dear emotional tie to the cake I’ve chosen.

    The first year saw my Tiramisu Bundt, a farewell baking as one of the last things I made in the tiny apartment kitchen that was home for almost fifteen years before we bought a house.  The second year gave me the Avenging Dark Chocolate Bacon Scourge Bundt of Doom, vengeance for a wrong done to a dear friend by a food blogger during the previous NBCD festivities, and also to vent some of my frustration at the 2012-13 NHL lockout.  Last year, I honored through Bundt a precious girl who I only knew for a short time but who will live in my heart forever, Chiquita the Pitbull.

    This year, I had no idea what I wanted to bake, so I put out a call on my Facebook page for suggestions, requests, etc. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • The Most Comprehensive List of Halloween Candy & Alcohol Pairings Ever Written

    Shortly before Halloween, a Facebook friend posted a link to an article titled “7 WinesTo Pair With Your Favorite Halloween Candy”.  My thought at first glance was “OH HELL YES” because while the consumption of sugar and alcohol may for some be an enjoyable pastime, for women in their forties it is an invaluable survival technique that can never be too refined.

    Sadly, I quickly noticed a lot of things very wrong with this article. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • How Not to Sell Vibrators

    A few days ago, I received a Carol Wright Gifts catalog in the mail.  If you’re not familiar with them, they are one of the many Random Occasionally Useful Crap companies that sell everything from dog shoes to paisley-framed reading glasses to novelty kitchen gadgets.  And I admit that, when I receive these publications, I flip through them before placing them in the recycle bin because once in a great while there is something that actually interests me.

    In this case, it was Fleece-Lined Leggings.  I’m very sad that I can’t in good conscience order those.  Because they sound super comfy and ideal for working-at-home winter days.  But I will not give Carol Wright a dime of my money until they change one very important thing.

    The leggings were on the first page of this seemingly innocuous gift catalog and, encouraged, I continued flipping pages.  The Removable Instant Eyebrows on page 7 were definitely pause-worthy.  But it was pages 20 & 21 that made me stop dead in my flipping tracks. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • Stop Lying to Yourselves

    The fabulous George Takei this morning posted this photo on his Facebook page

    Unicorn

    words of advice I have been hearing for about 30 years, but funny nonetheless.  And while I didn’t have time to read all of the 276798364 comments that his posts routinely receive because he is all the awesome, the ones I did read were unanimously in agreement with the sentiment.

    However, I submit to you the following: read more

    I was here and read this!

  • Dear BBC…

    Every year or so, an Internet quiz starts recirculating, about 100 books the BBC thinks most people have only read six of.  The implication being, of course, that most people are ill-read mental slobs who don’t know which end of a dust jacket to eat their soup with.

    And every year or so when I see this quiz pop up again, I take a peek at the latest iteration, which never fails to amuse, amaze, and annoy me.  I have been reading since 1975.  I average 2 or 3 books a month.  And since I math almost as well as I read, that tells me 100 books is a small fraction of what I’ve mentally consumed in my literate lifetime.  So, BBC, here are a few things I would like to tell you about my reading habits and my take on your idea of what people should be reading: read more

    I was here and read this!

  • Chiquita’s Amber & Tan Bundt

    As many of you are aware, November 15 is National Bundt Day.  This is the third year I’ve observed the day by baking an original recipe Bundt cake, and the third year that there has been a unique emotional circumstance attached to the event.  In 2011, I was on the verge of buying a house and, as I baked my Tiramisu Bundt in my tiny apartment kitchen, I knew it would be one of the last things I baked in the place that had been home for almost 15 years.  2012 brought the Avenging Dark Chocolate Bacon Scourge Bundt of Doom, the result of several sources of frustration and annoyance translating themselves into dessert.

    This year, on November 13, I was told by a dear friend that one of the most amazing girls I have ever had the honor of knowing had passed away. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • Adventures in Shopping: Washing Machines

    I was 42 years old before I ever needed to buy any major appliances. For most of my adult life, I rented an apartment that had a fridge included and a laundry room on site, and prior to that I lived with my parents, where my input on the purchase of such things was limited to the occasional “I like the green one better”.

    Then we bought a house. This particular house also had a fridge included (a really nice one, too; thank you, previous owners), but we did need a washer & dryer. And since our household setup is based on the somewhat old-fashioned model of him earning the money and me spending it, the task of selecting, purchasing, and arranging for delivery of said appliances settled on my full-time-homemaking shoulders. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • Those Are Not “Free” Magazines

    Anyone familiar with this blog knows that I have extremely mixed feelings about the print-on-demand magazine industry.  On the one hand, it provides an outlet for creative people to do some amazing work with no financial outlay.  On the other hand, that very lack of required financial commitment has created some rather callous attitudes among people who now claim the title of “editor”.

    One recurring statement from these editors drives me particularly crazy, that they do not give “free” magazines to contributors.  And yes, they usually do put the word ‘free’ in quotes, whether for emphasis or irony I’m not sure.  In one distinctly memorable case, a magazine’s submission guidelines stated quite emphatically “we do NOT give out free magazines, so DON’T ASK”.  This is the attitude I have a problem with. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • The Large-Breasted Geek Phenomenon: Some Theories

    I have a dear friend who is, hands down, the most dedicated geek I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  She loves Star Wars, Doctor Who, Comic-Con, WoW, you name it, she’s into it to a degree I find not only endearing but fascinating in its dedication.

    She also has really large breasts.  And apparently, there are women who believe these things cannot exist simultaneously in a single being, so they insist either the breasts are fake or the geekery must be.

    I know for a fact both of these things are genuine in this particular woman, and I also know there are others like her in the world.  Which begs the question, where does the large-breasted geek come from?  How is she formed, in what environment does she thrive?  After careful thought, I have come up with three possible theories to explain her. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • Things That Are Not Plagiarism

    Few things on the Internet bug me more, as an editor, an artist, and a human being who loves language enough to want to see it used properly, than the constant throwing around of accusations of plagiarism by people who don’t seem to have taken the time to learn what that word actually means.

    Plagiarism is when someone takes someone else’s original work and claims it as their own, either intact or after making only very minor alterations that leave it still recognizable as the original work. read more

    I was here and read this!