Foodstuffs

  • Oct
    2018
    31
    2018 / Oct / 31

    My Bloody Kale-entine with Sourdough Caulifritters

    In pursuit of my wild dream of feeling like a full-fledged adult maybe sometime before my 50th birthday, I’ve been purchasing tools to help me do adult things like plan meals more than 20 minutes in advance of eating them. Like this nifty fridge magnet. Some weeks, it looks like this

    but then there are other better weeks when I plan 7 entire meals with lots of veggies and then actually cook them all and feel terrifyingly mature and know it can’t possibly be sustainable but I try to enjoy the moment. read more

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  • Sep
    2018
    10
    2018 / Sep / 10

    The Clear and Present Ginger Burger

    It hasn’t actually been 3 months since our last Bob’s Burgers night. I just never told you about the Hatch Me If You Can burger. Or The Cauliflower’s Cumin From Inside the House and OMG It’s Fischoeder. And that is not at all because I don’t like you and don’t feel you deserve to know about these things. It’s because… life. Life has been considerably more lifelike since this little man became a part of it.

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  • Jul
    2018
    06
    2018 / Jul / 06

    Sympathy for the Deviled Egg Burger with Satan Burned My Buns Bread Pudding

    I’d be lying if I said I know where the month of June went. I have vague recollections of a few things. My dogs both had dental work done. My husband went on his annual two-week writing retreat. Nobody died, and at some point I must have done laundry. Other than that, your guess is really as good as mine as to what happened during that 30 day span of my life. read more

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  • May
    2018
    05
    2018 / May / 05

    Chèvrething But The Kitchen Sink

    I did not get a photo of the cooktop catching fire as it was happening because, you know, fire.

    Instead, I very calmly reached into the baking cabinet, took out a sheetpan large enough to cover the flaming surface, slapped it down, turned on the hood fan, opened the kitchen window, and reflected briefly on how little energy I had to react to something like the sudden appearance of an open blaze in my kitchen and how it wasn’t even the worst or most surprising thing that happened that day. read more

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  • Mar
    2018
    13
    2018 / Mar / 13

    Oniontended Consequences 2: Oniony the Good Cry Young

    The other night, I wanted a burger for dinner. A big, sloppy, extra-napkins-at-the-ready kind of burger. And a turkey burger because I had a Costco four-pack of ground turkey taking up half my freezer. It was a cardio day for me, and a bike-to-work day for The Guy, so I knew a large evening meal would be welcome. And in 2018, burgers for dinner means a Bob’s Burgers Night. Among the produce that needed to be consumed before the next Imperfect delivery were a yellow onion and a bunch of green onions, so I grabbed my handy Bob’s Burgers Burger Book to see what I could find.

    What I found was a recipe for a burger called Onion-tended Consequences. Which sounded delicious, but also required a bunch of things I didn’t have around. So I decided to make a tribute burger. read more

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  • Feb
    2018
    20
    2018 / Feb / 20

    If Looks Could Kale

    When I set my 2018 goal of working through as much of The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book as I possibly could, I went in knowing not every burger I made would be beef. We have a tradition in this house called Round Thing On A Bun Nights, and by “tradition” I mean “open acknowledgement that there will be nights I am too tired/busy/not-at-all-in-the-mood to cook”. So in the freezer are kept brioche buns that can be simultaneously thawed & toasted in about 4 minutes, and a selection of pre-formed patties of various proteins, meat-based and otherwise, that can go from freezer to pan to table in the time it takes to prep the toppings and thaw & toast the buns. Cheaper, easier, and less terrible for us than ordering pizza, with the added advantage of not requiring the putting on of pants to open the door for the delivery person. read more

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  • Feb
    2018
    08
    2018 / Feb / 08

    Hummus a Tune

    On Thursday mornings, my mom and I go shopping together, first to Grocery Outlet and then to Costco. Aside from the practical advantages of one fewer car on the road and me not having to buy my own Costco membership, it’s a chance for us to spend a couple of hours together hanging out, catching up, bitching whatever bitchery may be needed as a result of the past week’s events, and reaffirming our mutual belief that very few people in California know how to drive like not completely oblivious fucking morons.

    My mom is awesome. read more

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  • Jan
    2018
    25
    2018 / Jan / 25

    The Disgusting Beautiful Garbage Angel Burger

    One of my goals for 2018 is to work my way through as much of The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book as I possibly can. But since another of my goals for 2018 is to not die a horrible cholesterol-laden death, I’m trying to limit my Bob’s burger intake to 2 or 3 a month. I made my first Bob’s burger on January 4, so I was definitely due for another. read more

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  • Jan
    2018
    05
    2018 / Jan / 05

    A Good Manchego is Hard to Find

    Completing the last of what little holiday shopping I do invariably lands me at a bookstore. My family exchanges books, always has, always will. I got about nine this past December, including a stack of cozy mysteries, Black Wave which I’ve wanted to read since one of my sisters raved so hard about it a year ago, and Rasika: Flavors of India which I am going to have all kinds of fun with, fun I shall post about right here on this very blog.

    This year, as I was finding goodies for my loved ones, my eye fell upon something I have wanted ever since it was released. That thing was The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book. read more

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  • Nov
    2017
    17
    2017 / Nov / 17

    The Portlandia Bundt

    For this, my 7th year observing National Bundt Day by baking an original-recipe cake, I had very little idea what would happen. But I had leftover lemon avocado buttercream in my refrigerator and love in my heart. I also had a bag of cacao nibs and, like many of you I’m sure, any hint of a mention of the word “cacao” brings to mind one thing.

    Thus, in all its quirky, vegan, repurposing, cacao-inclusive glory, the Portlandia Bundt was born. read more

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  • Aug
    2017
    24
    2017 / Aug / 24

    Vegan Sourdough Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

    This recipe was born of my sourdough starter threatening to gain sentience and run away with one of the backyard squirrels if I left it alone any longer, and my sincere belief that I could not refrain from stabbing myself in the face with a railroad spike if I had to make another banana chip. read more

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  • Mar
    2017
    30
    2017 / Mar / 30

    The Random Crap in My Kitchen Bundt

    Imagine it’s November 2015, and you are someone who, for the previous four years, has baked an original recipe Bundt cake in observation of National Bundt Cake Day, which is November 15.

    Now let’s fill in some imagine-time details. Close your eyes, and picture a calendar showing November 17. Picture your kitchen counter, showing no sign of any remnants of the cake you baked two days before, because you didn’t bake one. Picture a bunch of odds & ends in your refrigerator and cabinets from various other baking you’ve been doing. Picture yourself just done with the whole idea of ever baking anything else ever for all ever time again ever because you are seriously over carbs and sweets and frosting and you’re already dreading all the Christmas baking you’re going to start in a few weeks. Picture your doneness, your sorrow, your angst, your dread. Now close your eyes a little harder, and picture what you know in your heart will make all of that better. read more

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