cooking

  • My Bloody Kale-entine with Sourdough Caulifritters

    In pursuit of my wild dream of feeling like a full-fledged adult maybe sometime before my 50th birthday, I’ve been purchasing tools to help me do adult things like plan meals more than 20 minutes in advance of eating them. Like this nifty fridge magnet. Some weeks, it looks like this

    but then there are other better weeks when I plan 7 entire meals with lots of veggies and then actually cook them all and feel terrifyingly mature and know it can’t possibly be sustainable but I try to enjoy the moment. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • The Clear and Present Ginger Burger

    It hasn’t actually been 3 months since our last Bob’s Burgers night. I just never told you about the Hatch Me If You Can burger. Or The Cauliflower’s Cumin From Inside the House and OMG It’s Fischoeder. And that is not at all because I don’t like you and don’t feel you deserve to know about these things. It’s because… life. Life has been considerably more lifelike since this little man became a part of it.

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  • Sympathy for the Deviled Egg Burger with Satan Burned My Buns Bread Pudding

    I’d be lying if I said I know where the month of June went. I have vague recollections of a few things. My dogs both had dental work done. My husband went on his annual two-week writing retreat. Nobody died, and at some point I must have done laundry. Other than that, your guess is really as good as mine as to what happened during that 30 day span of my life. read more

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  • Chèvrething But The Kitchen Sink

    I did not get a photo of the cooktop catching fire as it was happening because, you know, fire.

    Instead, I very calmly reached into the baking cabinet, took out a sheetpan large enough to cover the flaming surface, slapped it down, turned on the hood fan, opened the kitchen window, and reflected briefly on how little energy I had to react to something like the sudden appearance of an open blaze in my kitchen and how it wasn’t even the worst or most surprising thing that happened that day. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • Oniontended Consequences 2: Oniony the Good Cry Young

    The other night, I wanted a burger for dinner. A big, sloppy, extra-napkins-at-the-ready kind of burger. And a turkey burger because I had a Costco four-pack of ground turkey taking up half my freezer. It was a cardio day for me, and a bike-to-work day for The Guy, so I knew a large evening meal would be welcome. And in 2018, burgers for dinner means a Bob’s Burgers Night. Among the produce that needed to be consumed before the next Imperfect delivery were a yellow onion and a bunch of green onions, so I grabbed my handy Bob’s Burgers Burger Book to see what I could find.

    What I found was a recipe for a burger called Onion-tended Consequences. Which sounded delicious, but also required a bunch of things I didn’t have around. So I decided to make a tribute burger. read more

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  • If Looks Could Kale

    When I set my 2018 goal of working through as much of The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book as I possibly could, I went in knowing not every burger I made would be beef. We have a tradition in this house called Round Thing On A Bun Nights, and by “tradition” I mean “open acknowledgement that there will be nights I am too tired/busy/not-at-all-in-the-mood to cook”. So in the freezer are kept brioche buns that can be simultaneously thawed & toasted in about 4 minutes, and a selection of pre-formed patties of various proteins, meat-based and otherwise, that can go from freezer to pan to table in the time it takes to prep the toppings and thaw & toast the buns. Cheaper, easier, and less terrible for us than ordering pizza, with the added advantage of not requiring the putting on of pants to open the door for the delivery person. read more

    I was here and read this!

  • Hummus a Tune

    On Thursday mornings, my mom and I go shopping together, first to Grocery Outlet and then to Costco. Aside from the practical advantages of one fewer car on the road and me not having to buy my own Costco membership, it’s a chance for us to spend a couple of hours together hanging out, catching up, bitching whatever bitchery may be needed as a result of the past week’s events, and reaffirming our mutual belief that very few people in California know how to drive like not completely oblivious fucking morons.

    My mom is awesome. read more

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  • This is Ugly?

    Earlier this week, I signed up for a weekly delivery from Imperfect. They sell ugly produce considered not salable through more traditional outlets due to, as the name states, imperfections. By doing so, they reduce waste of not only food but water and land, help farmers get paid for more of their harvests, improve our entire food system in a lot of ways. I am all about this.

    Last night, we received our first delivery. And I am absolutely furious right now. read more

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  • The Disgusting Beautiful Garbage Angel Burger

    One of my goals for 2018 is to work my way through as much of The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book as I possibly can. But since another of my goals for 2018 is to not die a horrible cholesterol-laden death, I’m trying to limit my Bob’s burger intake to 2 or 3 a month. I made my first Bob’s burger on January 4, so I was definitely due for another. read more

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  • A Good Manchego is Hard to Find

    Completing the last of what little holiday shopping I do invariably lands me at a bookstore. My family exchanges books, always has, always will. I got about nine this past December, including a stack of cozy mysteries, Black Wave which I’ve wanted to read since one of my sisters raved so hard about it a year ago, and Rasika: Flavors of India which I am going to have all kinds of fun with, fun I shall post about right here on this very blog.

    This year, as I was finding goodies for my loved ones, my eye fell upon something I have wanted ever since it was released. That thing was The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book. read more

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  • Chuck Norris, My Kitchen Needs You

    The other day, my holiday task du jour was to reduce 3 1/2 pounds of whole dates to a mush the texture of which would hold a spherical shape when mixed with brandy and covered with chocolate. It is my third year making this particular confection, having met with varying degrees of success in previous attempts, all of which were delicious, if not texturally and structurally ideal.

    The first year, my Black & Decker 750 watt blender proved unequal to this task; the motor is powerful enough to pull a wagon holding three small children and a medium pig, but the blade assembly is badly angled for food chopping. I did not blame the blender, and quietly reassured it that as long as it continued to make me soup and margaritas, it would always have a place in my home and heart. I finished the job with a large knife and some of the most exquisite strings of profanity ever uttered in my kitchen, already planning how different things would be next time. read more

    I was here and read this!