Adventures in Lockdown: That Time the Washer Caught Fire
- posted in Adventures in Lockdown
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Once upon a time, there was a thing called OSFA. It stood for “One Size Fits All” and was considered a legitimate clothing size.
Then people started saying things like “this is 4 feet too long” and “I can’t get this past my knees” and “is an 8 inch neck circumference really the norm for adults?” and various other responses to the One Size Fits All designation that translated to “the fuck it does”.
Once upon a time almost six years ago, The Guy & I bought a house. Since moving from our old apartment meant moving away from our old apartment’s laundry facilities unless I wanted to drive all the way across town and pretend I still lived there just so I could continue to enjoy the privilege of paying $4 to wash and dry a load of laundry, buying a house also meant buying a washer & dryer. Our new house also had a garage, which meant I could realize one of my fondest adult lifetime ambitions of obtaining a standalone freezer and saving crapstacks of money buying in bulk and stocking up when things went on sale.
Because this girl knows how to dream big.
Earlier today, a friend posted this photo on Instagram
Now, the fact there is an Instagram that exists, on which my friends can post these things, that is found on the Internet, told me my initial suspicion was correct, but I glanced at the upper right corner of my 27” iMac just in case. Sure enough, it’s the year 2016.
A few days ago, I received a Carol Wright Gifts catalog in the mail. If you’re not familiar with them, they are one of the many Random Occasionally Useful Crap companies that sell everything from dog shoes to paisley-framed reading glasses to novelty kitchen gadgets. And I admit that, when I receive these publications, I flip through them before placing them in the recycle bin because once in a great while there is something that actually interests me.
In this case, it was Fleece-Lined Leggings. I’m very sad that I can’t in good conscience order those. Because they sound super comfy and ideal for working-at-home winter days. But I will not give Carol Wright a dime of my money until they change one very important thing.
The leggings were on the first page of this seemingly innocuous gift catalog and, encouraged, I continued flipping pages. The Removable Instant Eyebrows on page 7 were definitely pause-worthy. But it was pages 20 & 21 that made me stop dead in my flipping tracks.
I was 42 years old before I ever needed to buy any major appliances. For most of my adult life, I rented an apartment that had a fridge included and a laundry room on site, and prior to that I lived with my parents, where my input on the purchase of such things was limited to the occasional “I like the green one better”.
Then we bought a house. This particular house also had a fridge included (a really nice one, too; thank you, previous owners), but we did need a washer & dryer. And since our household setup is based on the somewhat old-fashioned model of him earning the money and me spending it, the task of selecting, purchasing, and arranging for delivery of said appliances settled on my full-time-homemaking shoulders.