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  • Oct
    2018
    31
    2018 / Oct / 31

    My Bloody Kale-entine with Sourdough Caulifritters

    • posted in Foodstuffs
    • / with 0 comments
    • / tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner, Halloween, Imperfect produce, kale

    In pursuit of my wild dream of feeling like a full-fledged adult maybe sometime before my 50th birthday, I’ve been purchasing tools to help me do adult things like plan meals more than 20 minutes in advance of eating them. Like this nifty fridge magnet. Some weeks, it looks like this

    but then there are other better weeks when I plan 7 entire meals with lots of veggies and then actually cook them all and feel terrifyingly mature and know it can’t possibly be sustainable but I try to enjoy the moment.

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  • Oct
    2018
    11
    2018 / Oct / 11

    So this is me raving about toilet paper

    • posted in Raves
    • / with 2 comments
    • / tags: adulthood, Brandless, butts, sustainable, toilet paper

    Adulthood is an adventure in self-discovery. You never think you’ll be the sort of person who gets excited about toilet paper. However, I sit before you today genuinely excited about my new toilet paper, to the point of writing an entire blog post about it. With a picture, even.

    #iwokeuplikethis
    #exceptnowimwearingabra
    #andiwasntpointingattoiletpaper

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    3 people read this post.

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  • Sep
    2018
    10
    2018 / Sep / 10

    The Clear and Present Ginger Burger

    • posted in Foodstuffs
    • / with 0 comments
    • / tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner, Grocery Outlet, Imperfect produce

    It hasn’t actually been 3 months since our last Bob’s Burgers night. I just never told you about the Hatch Me If You Can burger. Or The Cauliflower’s Cumin From Inside the House and OMG It’s Fischoeder. And that is not at all because I don’t like you and don’t feel you deserve to know about these things. It’s because… life. Life has been considerably more lifelike since this little man became a part of it.

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    1 person read this post.

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  • Jul
    2018
    24
    2018 / Jul / 24

    Because why wouldn’t there be free alcohol?

    • posted in Raves
    • / with 2 comments
    • / tags: alcohol, booze, crowdfunding, marketing, Naked Wines, power tools, wine

    The other day when my mom came to pick me up for our weekly Costco excursion, she said “your father got this when he bought some stuff for his drill, he thought you might be able to use it” as she reached into her purse. In the 4 seconds between those words leaving her mouth and the reveal of what “this” was, I had ample time to wonder a) what might be included with power tool accessories that I would use more than my dad would, and b) what possible power tool thing would fit in my mom’s purse.

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    1 person read this post.

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  • Jul
    2018
    14
    2018 / Jul / 14

    The Highest & Best Possible Use of iMovie

    • posted in Dogs
    • / with 4 comments
    • / tags: dogs, Gilfoyle, iMovie

    https://poeticpinup.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/Gil-Gotsta-Get-Paid.mp4

     
     
    return to The Blog

    1 person read this post.

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  • Jul
    2018
    06
    2018 / Jul / 06

    Sympathy for the Deviled Egg Burger with Satan Burned My Buns Bread Pudding

    • posted in Foodstuffs
    • / with 1 comments
    • / tags: baking, bob's burgers, burgers, chocolate, cooking, dessert, dinner

    I’d be lying if I said I know where the month of June went. I have vague recollections of a few things. My dogs both had dental work done. My husband went on his annual two-week writing retreat. Nobody died, and at some point I must have done laundry. Other than that, your guess is really as good as mine as to what happened during that 30 day span of my life.

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  • May
    2018
    15
    2018 / May / 15

    I Say These Things Out Loud

    • posted in Dogs
    • / with 0 comments
    • / tags: dogs, Gilfoyle, Lady Byng

    There are a lot of things I say out loud that I really think I shouldn’t have to say out loud.

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    1 person read this post.

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  • May
    2018
    05
    2018 / May / 05

    Chèvrething But The Kitchen Sink

    • posted in Foodstuffs
    • / with 0 comments
    • / tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner

    I did not get a photo of the cooktop catching fire as it was happening because, you know, fire.

    Instead, I very calmly reached into the baking cabinet, took out a sheetpan large enough to cover the flaming surface, slapped it down, turned on the hood fan, opened the kitchen window, and reflected briefly on how little energy I had to react to something like the sudden appearance of an open blaze in my kitchen and how it wasn’t even the worst or most surprising thing that happened that day.

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    1 person read this post.

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  • Mar
    2018
    13
    2018 / Mar / 13

    Oniontended Consequences 2: Oniony the Good Cry Young

    • posted in Foodstuffs
    • / with 1 comments
    • / tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner, sequels

    The other night, I wanted a burger for dinner. A big, sloppy, extra-napkins-at-the-ready kind of burger. And a turkey burger because I had a Costco four-pack of ground turkey taking up half my freezer. It was a cardio day for me, and a bike-to-work day for The Guy, so I knew a large evening meal would be welcome. And in 2018, burgers for dinner means a Bob’s Burgers Night. Among the produce that needed to be consumed before the next Imperfect delivery were a yellow onion and a bunch of green onions, so I grabbed my handy Bob’s Burgers Burger Book to see what I could find.

    What I found was a recipe for a burger called Onion-tended Consequences. Which sounded delicious, but also required a bunch of things I didn’t have around. So I decided to make a tribute burger.

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    3 people read this post.

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  • Feb
    2018
    20
    2018 / Feb / 20

    If Looks Could Kale

    • posted in Foodstuffs
    • / with 0 comments
    • / tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner, Meatless Monday, vegan

    When I set my 2018 goal of working through as much of The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book as I possibly could, I went in knowing not every burger I made would be beef. We have a tradition in this house called Round Thing On A Bun Nights, and by “tradition” I mean “open acknowledgement that there will be nights I am too tired/busy/not-at-all-in-the-mood to cook”. So in the freezer are kept brioche buns that can be simultaneously thawed & toasted in about 4 minutes, and a selection of pre-formed patties of various proteins, meat-based and otherwise, that can go from freezer to pan to table in the time it takes to prep the toppings and thaw & toast the buns. Cheaper, easier, and less terrible for us than ordering pizza, with the added advantage of not requiring the putting on of pants to open the door for the delivery person.

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  • Feb
    2018
    13
    2018 / Feb / 13

    How To Not Totally F*ck Up Selling Appliances

    • posted in Raves
    • / with 0 comments
    • / tags: appliances, Home Depot, shopping

    Once upon a time almost six years ago, The Guy & I bought a house. Since moving from our old apartment meant moving away from our old apartment’s laundry facilities unless I wanted to drive all the way across town and pretend I still lived there just so I could continue to enjoy the privilege of paying $4 to wash and dry a load of laundry, buying a house also meant buying a washer & dryer. Our new house also had a garage, which meant I could realize one of my fondest adult lifetime ambitions of obtaining a standalone freezer and saving crapstacks of money buying in bulk and stocking up when things went on sale.

    Because this girl knows how to dream big.

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    2 people read this post.

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  • Feb
    2018
    08
    2018 / Feb / 08

    Hummus a Tune

    • posted in Foodstuffs
    • / with 1 comments
    • / tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner, hummus, lamb, peppers

    On Thursday mornings, my mom and I go shopping together, first to Grocery Outlet and then to Costco. Aside from the practical advantages of one fewer car on the road and me not having to buy my own Costco membership, it’s a chance for us to spend a couple of hours together hanging out, catching up, bitching whatever bitchery may be needed as a result of the past week’s events, and reaffirming our mutual belief that very few people in California know how to drive like not completely oblivious fucking morons.

    My mom is awesome.

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    2 people read this post.

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Stuff People Like (Not Just My Mom)

The Most Comprehensive List of Halloween Candy & Alcohol Pairings Ever Written
Mason Jar Gifts For & From Guys
Taking My Dogs to San Diego
The Avenging Dark Chocolate Bacon Scourge Bundt of Doom
Chuck Norris, My Kitchen Needs You

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