People who don’t need your support on Mother’s Day

This photo is circulating on social media as it does every year

and as I do every year, I have a huge problem with it because one of these things is not like the others. So I fixed it.

5 of these groups have difficulty on Mother’s Day because their personal relationship with the reality of motherhood is troubled, and for good reasons.

Those who have chosen to not be mothers do not belong next to those 5 other groups, and putting that group next to the 5 other groups needs unpacking.

It implies that the choice of those women was either somehow not really their choice, or that it was a choice they should feel bad about. It implies those women need sympathy for the choice they have made because it is not the choice anyone born with a uterus is expected to default to. It implies they were wrong in choosing not to have children and should be pitied for their mistake.

Saying “I am thinking of you on Mother’s Day even though you have chosen to not be a mother” is no different than saying “I am thinking of you on Christmas even though you have chosen to not be a Christian”.

There are a lot of people who need a little extra support today. Women who have made the conscious decision to exclude themselves from this particular celebration are not those people.

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