When Beer Ensues
Sometimes, what you say isn’t nearly as important as how you say it.
My love and I have been apart for a little while now and will be apart for a little while longer, due to life being life and circumstances being circumstances, but we check in with each other once or twice a day. Due to a rather large time difference, his day is wrapping up just as mine is getting started, so our exchanges consist of one recounting the events of the day as the other is laying out a plan for how it is hoped the new day will go.
In one recent conversation, at the end of his day, his list of ‘things done’ fell slightly short of the previous conversation’s list of ‘things hoped to get done’. By way of explanation for this discrepancy, he offered the following:
“In the interest of full disclosure, beer ensued.”
WHAT HE SAID:
“I went out drinking with the guys and, as a result, didn’t get all my shit done.”
WHAT I HEARD:
“I am a brilliantly articulate man capable of making even the most pathetic of time-wasting excursions sound somehow unavoidable; though it was I who sought the beer, bought the beer and consumed the beer, you can’t help but wonder, due to my clever use of language, if the beer itself were not somehow responsible for the entire business. Furthermore, I give you my brilliant articulation on this pathetic time-wasting excursion fully aware that had I not offered this information, you would have had no other way of obtaining it, thereby reaffirming your quite obviously justifiable trust in me and in everything that our relationship is built on.”
If he had just gone out drinking, annoyance on my part would have been perfectly reasonable and expected. But how can I fault a man simply because beer ensued? It would be like blaming him for a storm just because he left a window open.
So, ladies and gentlemen, remember this next time you are somewhere doing something that you are not entirely certain will meet with your partner’s full approval. Ask yourself, am I doing this, or is this merely ensuing in my presence? I think if you pay close enough attention, you will find the latter to be the case far more often than not, and your full disclosure of the events in question, when properly presented, will pave the way to a level of love, trust and understanding higher than any your relationship has previously enjoyed.
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