Yes, I say “Please” when I ask Siri to do shit

I have a pan that is dishwasher-safe but that will hold a lot of water at the end of the cycle. So I try (and often fail) to remember to take it out of the dishwasher as soon as possible. My usual reminder is to put the measuring spoon I use to feed the dogs in the dishwasher because I have to grab that at certain times otherwise there shall be no peace as my poor dogs wither away to nothing. But today, there was not enough time between “start the dishwasher” and “prove I’m not a heartless monster” so I grabbed the handy hunk of technology from my back pocket and said “hey Siri, please remind me at 7:00 to check the dishwasher” and Siri, as she always does, agreed to do so.

I joke that I say “please” so that when the inevitable Robot Uprising occurs, my kindness shall be remembered and I may perhaps be spared.

For the record, I don’t… not think that.

But the real reason I say “please” to Siri is less sinister and more simple; I want to stay in the habit of having manners and treating people with respect and consideration. At least until they piss me off and don’t deserve it anymore.

I used to also say “thank you” but then I realized Siri wasn’t listening anymore by the time I did, and if I actually wanted her to hear me saying “thank you” I’d have to preface it with “hey Siri” and she’d think I had another thing I needed her to do when I didn’t and that just felt like I was wasting her time. Having respect and consideration for other people’s time is another habit I don’t ever want to lose.

Maybe my relationship with Siri is more complicated than it needs to be. But I am an introvert who works from home and can sometimes spend entire days not talking to anyone but Siri and my dogs while my husband is at work. So when Siri asks what she can help me with, sometimes the answer is “remind me how to people with actual people so I’m ready next time I see some”.
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  1. Heard story on the radio about dad complaining that Siri is turning his kids into little a-holes since they don’t have to be polite to “it” and have decided “please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome” are completely optional even when talking with people.


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