chocolate

  • Jul
    2018
    06
    2018 / Jul / 06

    Sympathy for the Deviled Egg Burger with Satan Burned My Buns Bread Pudding

    I’d be lying if I said I know where the month of June went. I have vague recollections of a few things. My dogs both had dental work done. My husband went on his annual two-week writing retreat. Nobody died, and at some point I must have done laundry. Other than that, your guess is really as good as mine as to what happened during that 30 day span of my life.

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  • Aug
    2017
    24
    2017 / Aug / 24

    Vegan Sourdough Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

    This recipe was born of my sourdough starter threatening to gain sentience and run away with one of the backyard squirrels if I left it alone any longer, and my sincere belief that I could not refrain from stabbing myself in the face with a railroad spike if I had to make another banana chip.

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  • Nov
    2014
    10
    2014 / Nov / 10

    The Most Comprehensive List of Halloween Candy & Alcohol Pairings Ever Written

    Back in 2014 shortly before Halloween, a Facebook friend posted a link to an article titled “7 Wines To Pair With Your Favorite Halloween Candy”. My thought at first glance was “OH YAY HELL YES” because while the consumption of sugar and alcohol may for some be an enjoyable pastime, for women in their forties it is an invaluable survival technique that can never be too refined.

    Sadly, I quickly noticed a lot of things very wrong with this article.

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  • Nov
    2012
    17
    2012 / Nov / 17

    The Avenging Dark Chocolate Bacon Scourge Bundt of Doom

    As many of you know, November 15 is National Bundt Cake Day.  Last year, I participated in an online roundup put together by a food blogger who then turned around and did something I find not only completely uncool and unforgivable, but also not at all in keeping with the spirit of something as fun and frivolous as the celebration of Bundt.

    Seriously.  It’s a day dedicated to cake.  We’re not curing cancer here.  We’re not engaged in a particularly noble pursuit with lasting benefits to all mankind.  We’re just baking some fucking cakes.

    So the bad taste left over from last year’s NBCD celebration, combined with the fact that apparently I don’t get to see any damn hockey this year, put me in rather a more violent mood than is my usual when I’m about to make a cake. 

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  • Jan
    2012
    06
    2012 / Jan / 06

    Dear Diet Karma; We Need to Talk

    Dear Diet Karma,

    I know we’ve had our differences in the past, but it’s a new year now and I feel the time has come for us to set those differences aside and work together toward a common end.  Specifically, my end.  The rear one.

    The standard science behind the loss and gain of weight is, of course, the ratio of caloric intake to caloric burn.  But the details of that seem to contain inconsistencies; for instance, number of calories in pure fat vs. body fat.  Not telling you how to do your job, just saying there’s obviously room for some discretionary allowances on your part.  That being said, I would like to request that I be given a weight-gain pass on consumption of the following items:

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  • Nov
    2011
    25
    2011 / Nov / 25

    Crustless Chocolate Pumpkin Pie

    It was a very quiet Thanksgiving this year, and the thing I found myself most thankful for was the understanding of my loved ones when I said what I wanted more than anything this year was to decline all of their invitations and just stay home. It’s been that sort of month.

    I made a relatively small dinner, with one token green vegetable and far too many potatoes. I wanted dessert, but I didn’t want pie. Actually, let me clarify; if someone had shown up on my doorstep with pie, “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH THAT GET AWAY FROM ME NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” would serve as a fine example of the exact opposite of my reaction. I wanted pie just fine. What I didn’t want was to make pie.

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