Jul

2018

2018 / Jul / 24

Because why wouldn’t there be free alcohol?

posted in Raves
/ with 1 comments
/ tags: alcohol, booze, crowdfunding, marketing, Naked Wines, power tools, wine

The other day when my mom came to pick me up for our weekly Costco excursion, she said “your father got this when he bought some stuff for his drill, he thought you might be able to use it” as she reached into her purse. In the 4 seconds between those words leaving her mouth and the reveal of what “this” was, I had ample time to wonder a) what might be included with power tool accessories that I would use more than my dad would, and b) what possible power tool thing would fit in my mom’s purse. read more

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Jul

2018

14

2018 / Jul / 14

The Highest & Best Possible Use of iMovie

posted in Dogs
/ with 1 comments
/ tags: dogs, Gilfoyle, iMovie

return to The Blog

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Jul

2018

06

2018 / Jul / 06

Sympathy for the Deviled Egg Burger with Satan Burned My Buns Bread Pudding

posted in Foodstuffs
/ with 0 comments
/ tags: baking, bob's burgers, burgers, chocolate, cooking, dessert, dinner

I’d be lying if I said I know where the month of June went. I have vague recollections of a few things. My dogs both had dental work done. My husband went on his annual two-week writing retreat. Nobody died, and at some point I must have done laundry. Other than that, your guess is really as good as mine as to what happened during that 30 day span of my life. read more

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May

2018

15

2018 / May / 15

I Say These Things Out Loud

posted in Dogs
/ with 0 comments
/ tags: dogs, Gilfoyle, Lady Byng

There are a lot of things I say out loud that I really think I shouldn’t have to say out loud. read more

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May

2018

05

2018 / May / 05

Chèvrething But The Kitchen Sink

posted in Foodstuffs
/ with 0 comments
/ tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner

I did not get a photo of the cooktop catching fire as it was happening because, you know, fire.

Instead, I very calmly reached into the baking cabinet, took out a sheetpan large enough to cover the flaming surface, slapped it down, turned on the hood fan, opened the kitchen window, and reflected briefly on how little energy I had to react to something like the sudden appearance of an open blaze in my kitchen and how it wasn’t even the worst or most surprising thing that happened that day. read more

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Mar

2018

13

2018 / Mar / 13

Oniontended Consequences 2: Oniony the Good Cry Young

posted in Foodstuffs
/ with 0 comments
/ tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner, sequels

The other night, I wanted a burger for dinner. A big, sloppy, extra-napkins-at-the-ready kind of burger. And a turkey burger because I had a Costco four-pack of ground turkey taking up half my freezer. It was a cardio day for me, and a bike-to-work day for The Guy, so I knew a large evening meal would be welcome. And in 2018, burgers for dinner means a Bob’s Burgers Night. Among the produce that needed to be consumed before the next Imperfect delivery were a yellow onion and a bunch of green onions, so I grabbed my handy Bob’s Burgers Burger Book to see what I could find.

What I found was a recipe for a burger called Onion-tended Consequences. Which sounded delicious, but also required a bunch of things I didn’t have around. So I decided to make a tribute burger. read more

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Feb

2018

20

2018 / Feb / 20

If Looks Could Kale

posted in Foodstuffs
/ with 0 comments
/ tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner, Meatless Monday, vegan

When I set my 2018 goal of working through as much of The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book as I possibly could, I went in knowing not every burger I made would be beef. We have a tradition in this house called Round Thing On A Bun Nights, and by “tradition” I mean “open acknowledgement that there will be nights I am too tired/busy/not-at-all-in-the-mood to cook”. So in the freezer are kept brioche buns that can be simultaneously thawed & toasted in about 4 minutes, and a selection of pre-formed patties of various proteins, meat-based and otherwise, that can go from freezer to pan to table in the time it takes to prep the toppings and thaw & toast the buns. Cheaper, easier, and less terrible for us than ordering pizza, with the added advantage of not requiring the putting on of pants to open the door for the delivery person. read more

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Feb

2018

13

2018 / Feb / 13

How To Not Totally F*ck Up Selling Appliances

posted in Raves
/ with 0 comments
/ tags: appliances, Home Depot, shopping

Once upon a time almost six years ago, The Guy & I bought a house. Since moving from our old apartment meant moving away from our old apartment’s laundry facilities unless I wanted to drive all the way across town and pretend I still lived there just so I could continue to enjoy the privilege of paying $4 to wash and dry a load of laundry, buying a house also meant buying a washer & dryer. Our new house also had a garage, which meant I could realize one of my fondest adult lifetime ambitions of obtaining a standalone freezer and saving crapstacks of money buying in bulk and stocking up when things went on sale.

Because this girl knows how to dream big. read more

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Feb

2018

08

2018 / Feb / 08

Hummus a Tune

posted in Foodstuffs
/ with 1 comments
/ tags: bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner, hummus, lamb, peppers

On Thursday mornings, my mom and I go shopping together, first to Grocery Outlet and then to Costco. Aside from the practical advantages of one fewer car on the road and me not having to buy my own Costco membership, it’s a chance for us to spend a couple of hours together hanging out, catching up, bitching whatever bitchery may be needed as a result of the past week’s events, and reaffirming our mutual belief that very few people in California know how to drive like not completely oblivious fucking morons.

My mom is awesome. read more

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Jan

2018

26

2018 / Jan / 26

This is Ugly?

posted in Rants
/ with 0 comments
/ tags: common sense, cooking, gardening, imperfect, ugly produce

Earlier this week, I signed up for a weekly delivery from Imperfect. They sell ugly produce considered not salable through more traditional outlets due to, as the name states, imperfections. By doing so, they reduce waste of not only food but water and land, help farmers get paid for more of their harvests, improve our entire food system in a lot of ways. I am all about this.

Last night, we received our first delivery. And I am absolutely furious right now. read more

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Jan

2018

25

2018 / Jan / 25

The Disgusting Beautiful Garbage Angel Burger

posted in Foodstuffs
/ with 0 comments
/ tags: birthday, bob's burgers, burgers, cooking, dinner, kristen schaal, tribute

One of my goals for 2018 is to work my way through as much of The Bob’s Burgers Burger Book as I possibly can. But since another of my goals for 2018 is to not die a horrible cholesterol-laden death, I’m trying to limit my Bob’s burger intake to 2 or 3 a month. I made my first Bob’s burger on January 4, so I was definitely due for another. read more

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Jan

2018

16

2018 / Jan / 16

Camera-Ready or Not

posted in Being Naked in Public
/ with 0 comments
/ tags: art, beauty, being a girl, modeling, nude, photography

2017 was a year very full of both good and bad, and December proved to be a month of concentrated 2017. We finished our two holiday shoots for the year in late November, and my plan was to spend most of December focusing on the holidays, do a simple but fun New Year shoot mid-to-late in the month, and in mid-January start 2018 shoots in earnest.

Then December actually happened, and it was like an 80-grit revolving door of suck. Every day found a new and exciting way to make me sad and angry. December was the Baskin-Robbins of Bullshit. read more

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