Foodstuffs

  • Nov
    2012
    17
    2012 / Nov / 17

    The Avenging Dark Chocolate Bacon Scourge Bundt of Doom

    As many of you know, November 15 is National Bundt Cake Day.  Last year, I participated in an online roundup put together by a food blogger who then turned around and did something I find not only completely uncool and unforgivable, but also not at all in keeping with the spirit of something as fun and frivolous as the celebration of Bundt.

    Seriously.  It’s a day dedicated to cake.  We’re not curing cancer here.  We’re not engaged in a particularly noble pursuit with lasting benefits to all mankind.  We’re just baking some fucking cakes.

    So the bad taste left over from last year’s NBCD celebration, combined with the fact that apparently I don’t get to see any damn hockey this year, put me in rather a more violent mood than is my usual when I’m about to make a cake. 

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  • Dec
    2011
    18
    2011 / Dec / 18

    Chuck Norris, My Kitchen Needs You

    The other day, my holiday task du jour was to reduce 3 1/2 pounds of whole dates to a mush the texture of which would hold a spherical shape when mixed with brandy and covered with chocolate. It is my third year making this particular confection, having met with varying degrees of success in previous attempts, all of which were delicious, if not texturally and structurally ideal.

    The first year, my Black & Decker 750 watt blender proved unequal to this task; the motor is powerful enough to pull a wagon holding three small children and a medium pig, but the blade assembly is badly angled for food chopping. I did not blame the blender, and quietly reassured it that as long as it continued to make me soup and margaritas, it would always have a place in my home and heart. I finished the job with a large knife and some of the most exquisite strings of profanity ever uttered in my kitchen, already planning how different things would be next time.

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  • Nov
    2011
    25
    2011 / Nov / 25

    Crustless Chocolate Pumpkin Pie

    It was a very quiet Thanksgiving this year, and the thing I found myself most thankful for was the understanding of my loved ones when I said what I wanted more than anything this year was to decline all of their invitations and just stay home. It’s been that sort of month.

    I made a relatively small dinner, with one token green vegetable and far too many potatoes. I wanted dessert, but I didn’t want pie. Actually, let me clarify; if someone had shown up on my doorstep with pie, “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH THAT GET AWAY FROM ME NOW AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” would serve as a fine example of the exact opposite of my reaction. I wanted pie just fine. What I didn’t want was to make pie.

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  • Nov
    2011
    16
    2011 / Nov / 16

    Tiramisu Bundt with Orange Mascarpone Glaze

    Last year at about this time, my dear sister brought to my attention that November 15th is National Bundt Cake Day. A blogger known as The Food Librarian celebrates the occasion with a month-long Bundt-baking spree and encourages others to share photos and stories of the Bundts they bake. Dear Sis and I had planned to do this together, but since she was not around to bake a Bundt yesterday (she was in Italy, poor thing), I decided to go ahead on my own. Tiramisu being one of my favorite things ever, I wanted to try to capture the essence of it in a Bundt. For a first attempt of a new recipe, it was pretty darned not too bad. This recipe will be adjusted during future bakings, but here’s what happened in my kitchen yesterday.

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