Rants

  • Sep
    2014
    10
    2014 / Sep / 10

    How Not to Sell Vibrators

    A few days ago, I received a Carol Wright Gifts catalog in the mail.  If you’re not familiar with them, they are one of the many Random Occasionally Useful Crap companies that sell everything from dog shoes to paisley-framed reading glasses to novelty kitchen gadgets.  And I admit that, when I receive these publications, I flip through them before placing them in the recycle bin because once in a great while there is something that actually interests me.

    In this case, it was Fleece-Lined Leggings.  I’m very sad that I can’t in good conscience order those.  Because they sound super comfy and ideal for working-at-home winter days.  But I will not give Carol Wright a dime of my money until they change one very important thing.

    The leggings were on the first page of this seemingly innocuous gift catalog and, encouraged, I continued flipping pages.  The Removable Instant Eyebrows on page 7 were definitely pause-worthy.  But it was pages 20 & 21 that made me stop dead in my flipping tracks.

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  • Mar
    2014
    18
    2014 / Mar / 18

    Dear BBC…

    Every year or so, an Internet quiz starts recirculating, about 100 books the BBC thinks most people have only read six of.  The implication being, of course, that most people are ill-read mental slobs who don’t know which end of a dust jacket to eat their soup with.

    And every year or so when I see this quiz pop up again, I take a peek at the latest iteration, which never fails to amuse, amaze, and annoy me.  I have been reading since 1975.  I average 2 or 3 books a month.  And since I math almost as well as I read, that tells me 100 books is a small fraction of what I’ve mentally consumed in my literate lifetime.  So, BBC, here are a few things I would like to tell you about my reading habits and my take on your idea of what people should be reading:

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  • Jan
    2013
    23
    2013 / Jan / 23

    Those Are Not “Free” Magazines

    Anyone familiar with this blog knows that I have extremely mixed feelings about the print-on-demand magazine industry.  On the one hand, it provides an outlet for creative people to do some amazing work with no financial outlay.  On the other hand, that very lack of required financial commitment has created some rather callous attitudes among people who now claim the title of “editor”.

    One recurring statement from these editors drives me particularly crazy, that they do not give “free” magazines to contributors.  And yes, they usually do put the word ‘free’ in quotes, whether for emphasis or irony I’m not sure.  In one distinctly memorable case, a magazine’s submission guidelines stated quite emphatically “we do NOT give out free magazines, so DON’T ASK”.  This is the attitude I have a problem with.

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  • Jan
    2013
    16
    2013 / Jan / 16

    The Large-Breasted Geek Phenomenon: Some Theories

    I have a dear friend who is, hands down, the most dedicated geek I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  She loves Star Wars, Doctor Who, Comic-Con, WoW, you name it, she’s into it to a degree I find not only endearing but fascinating in its dedication.

    She also has really large breasts.  And apparently, there are women who believe these things cannot exist simultaneously in a single being, so they insist either the breasts are fake or the geekery must be.

    I know for a fact both of these things are genuine in this particular woman, and I also know there are others like her in the world.  Which begs the question, where does the large-breasted geek come from?  How is she formed, in what environment does she thrive?  After careful thought, I have come up with three possible theories to explain her.

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  • Jan
    2013
    10
    2013 / Jan / 10

    Things That Are Not Plagiarism

    Few things on the Internet bug me more, as an editor, an artist, and a human being who loves language enough to want to see it used properly, than the constant throwing around of accusations of plagiarism by people who don’t seem to have taken the time to learn what that word actually means.

    Plagiarism is when someone takes someone else’s original work and claims it as their own, either intact or after making only very minor alterations that leave it still recognizable as the original work.

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  • Aug
    2012
    07
    2012 / Aug / 07

    Things That Are Not Artistic Nudes

    I spend quite a bit of time on deviantART, scouting out content for The Poetic Pinup Revue.  It’s one of my favorite parts of the job, and it has netted some truly beautiful images that might not have found their way to our pages otherwise.

    However, it must be said that for every gem uncovered, there are several layers of non-gemlike material to be got through first, and the majority of them are found in dA’s “Artistic Nudes” category.  Granted, they only wind up there for lack of a more suitable category, such as “Porn by People Who Do Not Have the Balls to Admit Their Work is Porn” or even a more general “Photos of Nipples and Genitals with Little Else to Recommend Them” but, while I will never tell another artist what to create, the following really don’t qualify as “Artistic Nudes”.

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  • Aug
    2012
    04
    2012 / Aug / 04

    A Niche is Supposed to be a Good Thing

    Once upon a while back, I read and refrained from joining in on a conversation about required sizes of digital images for quality print.  One individual insisted that 300 dpi and 72 dpi are exactly the same thing and anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know what they are talking about.

    Yeah.  I’ll let you absorb that for a moment.

    Party B said “um… no” and proceeded to explain why.  Party A refused to listen, and Party C, on whose page this conversation was taking place, finally said “hey, let’s just cite artistic difference and end this”.  Wise party, that C.  C was wrong, of course, but at least the conversation ended.

    It has recently been brought to my attention that someone of the Party A school is starting a magazine.  And their “niche” will be not requiring high-resolution images.

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  • Jan
    2012
    26
    2012 / Jan / 26

    The ‘Editor’ vs. ‘MagCloud Profiteer’ Quiz

    I have written before my opinions of the impact of print-on-demand publishing on the magazine world, both for the better and for the worse. Before I go any further, I would like to state one thing very clearly: I will never be against any outlet that provides creative people the opportunity to get their work into the world without requiring any financial outlay upfront. Ever. And because print-on-demand publishing provides exactly that, I am not against it, per se.

    However, some of the people who, as a result of that outlet, are now running around bearing the self-granted titles of “editor” and “publisher” are frankly starting to piss me off just a bit. So, here’s a little quiz, some basics that really should be covered before you give yourself a title like that.

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  • Nov
    2011
    06
    2011 / Nov / 06

    Professional Courtesy 101

    Print-on-demand magazine publishing has created a fantastic opportunity for creative people to get their work on paper and into the world. It’s like the Internet equivalent of a wealthy benefactor; you invest your time and creative energies in a project, and someone else picks up the tab.

    Unfortunately, unlike an actual wealthy benefactor, print-on-demand publishing requires no real accountability and, as a result, professional conduct is falling further and further by the wayside.

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  • Jan
    2011
    04
    2011 / Jan / 04

    Dear Fashion Industry…

    I feel as though I‘m missing something.

    I’m sure there must be some logic behind it that for whatever reason is just completely beyond my grasp; if there were not, it wouldn’t keep happening. Every year. Without fail. Someone out there must understand the very special kind of sense this makes, because I cannot recall a single year when I was not forced to grapple with the bewilderment born in my soul at the sight of…

    The Open-Toed Winter Shoe.

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  • Jan
    2011
    02
    2011 / Jan / 02

    My Underwear & Me

    I have no idea what company was just attempting to convince me that I should purchase what product or service.  I know someone wanted my money, and I know they were offering me something in return for it; beyond that, I can tell you nothing.  All I saw before I moved to another screen was:

    ‘What Does Your Underwear Say About You?’

    It is of course possible that this wasn’t an advertisement of any kind, but rather a public service announcement brought to us by Underwear Listeners for a Better Tomorrow or some other equally altruistic bunch who just think we should know, for our own sakes, what is being said about us by our undergarments:

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